Solitude | Pt. 3

I've decided to spend this time of solitude and silence sitting out on my back porch this evening. It's raining and dusk is setting in underneath the cloud cover, my duck friends are as happy as can be swimming about on the pond enjoying the weather. It's here I'll spend the next few moments reflecting in silence asking God to reveal himself through these variables and constants of weather.

I pulled up our deck chair close to the railing of our third story apartment overlooking the pond and whipped out my headphones to put them in my ears to close out any white noise that may come from inside my home, my cat meowing at the screen door wanting my attention. In silence I've watched the wind blowing through the leaves of trees as each individual leaf twists and turns dancing underneath the cloud cover and rain in the worship of their Creator. So funny how they worship so easily. They know who created them and what they were made to do and there they are doing it.

My duck friends are grouped up close to one another quacking excitedly I think they as well may be thanking and praising God for the rain. In the silence I'm thanking Him to. Rain always reminds me of God's restoration and renewal. It reminds me of how God washed clean my sin sick heart of crimson to make it white as snow.

A group of small bats just flew by my porch at eye-level. It's another joy of being so high up birds and bats and all other form of flying creation come just inches from me and I see first hand the craftsmanship of the Carpenter.

Back to the rain. Rain does much the same as Christ did in my heart. Rain washes away impurities, it cleans of the dirt and pollen from what it touches and gives the nutrients needed for new life and growth in all in touches. Jesus is my Restoration. He is my saving grace. My only hope. My source of freedom. He is love. He is my love and is in love with me and I with Him. I don't know what my life would look like without Jesus. To be brutally honest, I'm not positive I would actually exist on the planet had it not been for Him.

I'm reminded of a song written by the PA band twelve.o.one (rip) entitled My Limbs, Once, Like Legos

my limbs, once, like legos, were snapped into place, by the hand of the father, i was showered with grace, he stitched me together, my sinews like thread, untied me and told me to walk with the dead, my heart much like adamantium, more stagnant and stalwart than ever before, for love to flow from these veins alone as painful as pulling a sword from a stone, and i sung, "hold me father, for i am lost in my love for what is not of you, my hands are trembling, my heart pleads with my body, hold me closely, make me new," (the only step that i should take would be to put my faith in what you have made me and though i feel a little bit lonely, i am yours) and written on the back of my hand was a reminder, in smeared black ink, to give you all of the glory, for i know now that i cannot save myself, and in giving you the pen, i surrendered my story, for i was lonely, but you were with me, and i was helpless, but you strengthened me, you saw right through me, and i sung, "hold me father, for i am lost in my love for what is not of you, my hands are trembling, my heart pleads with my body, hold me closely, make me new," and "only love can save me now, only you and i am longing, for something, amazing love, unchanging love, spirit breathe into me now!" every morn, when i awaken, sunlight pours through the window pane, i am reminded of your mercy, with each drop of falling rain, and the showers so refreshing, they revive me from my grave, i begin to bloom, arising from the grass in which i laid...
- James Edmund Porter

Had it not been for the great love of my dear savior I would be "lost on my love for what is not of" Him. It is His grace that saved me and restored me and constantly renews me.

Thank You Father for the rain.

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