Jars Of Clay - Worlds Apart

This is by far my favorite Jars of Clay song and a great performance. Just wanted to share it with you guys.

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart


I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remain"
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remains"
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

"Pee Pee Hands!"

People who dont wash their hands after they use the bathroom channel my inner 1st Grader I want to chase them down yelling "pee pee hands!" I mean really. How much effort does it take to walk over to a sink put some SOAP on your hands and sanitize yourself. I mean.... think about how many other people have flushed that toilet or urinal that HAVEN'T washed their hands. What kind of "down there" germs are on your hands from other people. I mean..... wow. There aren't many things that gross me out... but this is the last straw. I've counted 3 people today that I saw did not wash their hands. I'm not like hanging out in the corner of the bathroom counting or anything but, just while I'm in there. 3 people with germ covered pee hands. Makes me think twice about shaking hands with people. Bumping knuckles may be it for me now. Gross.

MUTEMATH | Spotlight Music Video

These guys never cease to amaze me.

Spiritual Disciplines | A Conclusion

Well it's been a journey that's for sure. I've taken part in four spiritual disciplines as described in Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. I've completed each discipline three times and blogged on everyone chronicling by experience and what I've learned about the discipline itself. Some of this came from Foster's book itself some from outside sources and some from the beautiful pages of Scripture itself.

If I could use one word to describe this journey it would be growth. I feel like I have grown and stretched myself in my faith and in my methodology concerning personal worship experiences. While I thought some of these exercises pushed the "biblical" limits just a bit I'm not one to throw the baby out with the bath-water. I've taken every moment of this as a chance to learn and grow closer to my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. He's why I do this, regardless of the fact I had to do it for a class assignment, I wanted to know Him more. I wanted to hear His voice and understand better His leading. I honestly feel these last 21 days have helped me in those areas. I'll definitely be repeating some of the practices. I found some of the meditation and solitude practices to be my favorites, but thought I was able to articulate what I learned best from study and saw the most growth from fasting. Overall it's been a great experience. One I am glad to have journeyed through.

Study | Pt. 3

STUDY

During this time of study and exploration I will be examining butterflies and moth's emerging from their state of Chrysalis. I'm hoping to liken this state of emergence to the life of a Christ-follower.

THE EXPERIENCE

When I first heard the word "chrysalis", what came to my mind was images of a weekend youth retreat at my home church in North Carolina. I'm not sure the weekend retreat was called that, it may have been "metamorphosis" or something similar. However when I googled Chrysalis one of the first things to come up was a weekend "Christian renewal movement" called Chrysalis. Now, I'm not trying to judge a book by it's cover but I am, Chrysalis looks to be stuck in the early 80's trying to appeal to a modern generation of teens and young adults. They need some serious revamping of their website and material. None of that really matters. The reason the camp is called Chrysalis is that it compares itself to the state of chrysalis that butterflies and moths enter into their cocoons. Here's a video of a Monarch Butterfly emerging from it's chrysalis state.

In this cocooned state a caterpillar transforms from being something wrinkly and gooey and yucky looking to something that is truly breathtaking to

behold. The same is true of the Christ-follower before Christ we are covered in the filth and dirt of our own sin and wrinkly gooey yuckiness. Then

Jesus washes us clean with his shed blood and transforms us into something beautiful. We are made glorious. It's such a beautiful thing to be known

as one who as been washed clean by the blood of the lamb. I'm remind of the words from Steve Fee's song Beautiful The Blood off the album We Shine.

I never knew death could be so sweet

I never knew surrender could feel so free
I never seen such meekness in majesty
That the blood of Jesus was bled for me

And now I sing freedom for all my days
It's only by the power of the cross I'm raised
The King of Glory rescued me

How beautiful the blood flow
How merciful the love show
The King of glory poured out
Victorious are we now

Never knew through these nails would love unfold
And never knew these wounds would heal my soul
I've never seen such beauty and sorrow meet
The blood of Jesus was bled for me

Now I'll sing freedom for all my days
It's only by the power of the cross I'm raised
The King of Glory rescued me

How beautiful you are
How merciful you are
How glorious you are
Christ the Savior

How beautiful you are
How merciful you are
How glorious you are
Christ the Savior

Study | Pt. 2

STUDY

For this time of study I'll be watching my sucker fish OS X Leopard. I want to figure out what exactly the purpose of a sucker fish is. Are they really called "Suckerfish"? or is there something else they're really called. Do they really just lay around on the floor of fish tanks across the country with nothing to do? What can I learn from these little fish that can teach me something

THE EXPERIENCE

So here I sit, and here my little sucker fish sits. I decided to google him just because all I know is that he's an algae eater fish. Here's what I got. Plecos, Hypostomus punctatusare, widely known as "the" algae eater at the fish store. Though it is seldom they tell you that they grow to be a foot long and will destroy your plants as they get bigger. They have also been known to get a bit more aggressive as they get older. They do a decent job of cleaning the glass. Bristle nose and rubber mouth plecos may be the best choice for a planted tank. The bristle nose stays a bit smaller than its cousins and is a nice addition to any planted tank, eating many forms of algae.

Plecos, or the Sucker-mouth Catfish, are ideal in a very large tank ( 300 liters and up ), with other large feature fish. Include some drift wood for them to use as a resting place and retreat. They are nocturnal so it is usually best to feed them at night time. Omnivorous. They do eat algae. As well green foods such as lettuce and peas, cucumbers, plus vegetable-based flake foods. Will also accept small live or frozen foods. They will eat any fish that can fit into their mouth. Also, they have been know to latch onto the side of larger fish. They can be quite destructive when moving around the tank, lashing plants and dislodging rocks with a swipe of their powerful tails. Plecos will often eat the plants in the aquarium. They grow up to 60 cm, need a pH around 7 and temperature 25'C (http://www.aquariumalgaeeaters.blogspot.com/)

There's a lot to this little guy. A lot I didn't know. For one I didn't know I should be feeding him algae flakes or tablets. I didn't know he could grow quite as large as they say or that when he gets that big it's possible he may even eat my other fish.... yikes. This guy could be just like a monster. At times we all have monsters in our lives don't we. There are all things laying dormant on the bottom of our tanks that we feed and let grow until they take over our lives. At first they seem small and helpless, we feed them and enjoy them. Then before we know what happened they have destroyed everything we hold dear and snack on the bright and colorful healthy areas of our lives for lunch. What area's in my life are monster's lurking in the deep laying shallow and quiet, but growing. What are those things that could potential destroy all I love? I must not become victim to this bottom dweller. If I let it go unchecked. It could ruin everything.

Study | Pt. 1

STUDY

"The Discipline of study is the primary vehicle to bring us to "think about these things." Study is tied most closely to the discipline of meditation. "Meditation is devotional; study is analytical". It's true that both study and meditation overlap in someways. The third journal entry I did by meditating on God's creative artistry in each of the fish in my fish tank would be tied closely to me studying my fish. However studying examines in more intricate detail the fish and from there creates a framework for the meditation to take a deeper shape. Foster explains that there are four main steps that make up the discipline of study: Repetition, Concentration, Comprehension, and Reflection. Ultimately study requires humility in that "we must be willing to be subject to the subject matter."

For my three times of discipline tonight I will be examining three different items in hopes of getting a better understand of them in order to better understand God through them. Foster calls this the "Study of Nonverbal "Books". I will take from the example in the chapter by watching multiple YouTube videos of moths emerging from chrysalis, as well as re-examining my sucker fish, OS X Leopard, in order to better understand what makes him tick, and finally I'll be listening outside for the bullfrogs that have decided to spring forth from their tadpole state in the pond behind our apartment and researching a bit on them as well. Each of these three will come in the form of a separate blog. I hope you'll enjoy journeying with me.

THE EXPERIENCE

For my first experience I decided, since my internet speed was lagging like crazy, to head out to my back porch once again and listen to the American bullfrogs that have taken residence around my pond. These frogs sing in chorus. It's like they call out in rhythm to each other. One deep throated frog will call out to the others and they respond in higher pitched ribbit noises. I opened my back door and listened for a bit only to hear nothing. The frogs for whatever reason aren't singing tonight. I wonder if that's how we seem to God sometimes. There are moments in our lives where He calls to us and we answer back to him in a chorus of praise. There are also moments when God calls out to us and we don't answer back. We dive deep under the mud and ignore God. We sink down deep into corners of our hearts we haven't surrendered over to God and we hold on so tight that we don't even answer God when He calls for us. The truth is that God love us and has a plan for our lives to give us hope and a good future. All of that can only happen if we have faith to trust in God and answer when He calls. When has God called to you recently when you have chosen not to answer Him.

Red Sea Rules | Robert Morgan

Red Sea Rule # 1 - Realize that God means for you to be where you are.

Red Sea Rule # 2 - Be more concerned for God's glory than for your relief

Red Sea Rule # 3 - Acknowledge your enemy, but keep your eyes on the Lord.

Red Sea Rule # 4 - Pray!

Red Sea Rule # 5 - Stay calm and confident and give God time to work.

Red Sea Rule # 6 - When unsure take the next logical step by faith.

Red Sea Rule # 7 - Envision God's enveloping presence.

Red Sea Rule # 8 - Trust God to deliver in His own unique way.

Red Sea Rule # 9 - View your current crisis as a faith builder for the future.

Red Sea Rule # 10 - Don't forget to praise Him.

Solitude | Pt. 3

SOLITUDE

I've decided to spend this time of solitude and silence sitting out on my back porch this evening. It's raining and dusk is setting in underneath the cloud cover, my duck friends are as happy as can be swimming about on the pond enjoying the weather. It's here I'll spend the next few moments reflecting in silence asking God to reveal himself through these variables and constants of weather.

THE EXPERIENCE

I pulled up our deck chair close to the railing of our third story apartment overlooking the pond and whipped out my headphones to put them in my ears to close out any white noise that may come from inside my home, my cat meowing at the screen door wanting my attention. In silence I've watched the wind blowing through the leaves of trees as each individual leaf twists and turns dancing underneath the cloud cover and rain in the worship of their Creator. So funny how they worship so easily. They know who created them and what they were made to do and there they are doing it.

My duck friends are grouped up close to one another quacking excitedly I think they as well may be thanking and praising God for the rain. In the silence I'm thanking Him to. Rain always reminds me of God's restoration and renewal. It reminds me of how God washed clean my sin sick heart of crimson to make it white as snow.

A group of small bats just flew by my porch at eye-level. It's another joy of being so high up birds and bats and all other form of flying creation come just inches from me and I see first hand the craftsmanship of the Carpenter.

Back to the rain. Rain does much the same as Christ did in my heart. Rain washes away impurities, it cleans of the dirt and pollen from what it touches and gives the nutrients needed for new life and growth in all in touches. Jesus is my Restoration. He is my saving grace. My only hope. My source of freedom. He is love. He is my love and is in love with me and I with Him. I don't know what my life would look like without Jesus. To be brutally honest, I'm not positive I would actually exist on the planet had it not been for Him.

I'm reminded of a song written by the PA band twelve.o.one (rip) entitled My Limbs, Once, Like Legos

my limbs, once, like legos, were snapped into place, by the hand of the father, i was showered with grace, he stitched me together, my sinews like thread, untied me and told me to walk with the dead, my heart much like adamantium, more stagnant and stalwart than ever before, for love to flow from these veins alone as painful as pulling a sword from a stone, and i sung, "hold me father, for i am lost in my love for what is not of you, my hands are trembling, my heart pleads with my body, hold me closely, make me new," (the only step that i should take would be to put my faith in what you have made me and though i feel a little bit lonely, i am yours) and written on the back of my hand was a reminder, in smeared black ink, to give you all of the glory, for i know now that i cannot save myself, and in giving you the pen, i surrendered my story, for i was lonely, but you were with me, and i was helpless, but you strengthened me, you saw right through me, and i sung, "hold me father, for i am lost in my love for what is not of you, my hands are trembling, my heart pleads with my body, hold me closely, make me new," and "only love can save me now, only you and i am longing, for something, amazing love, unchanging love, spirit breathe into me now!" every morn, when i awaken, sunlight pours through the window pane, i am reminded of your mercy, with each drop of falling rain, and the showers so refreshing, they revive me from my grave, i begin to bloom, arising from the grass in which i laid...

- James Edmund Porter

Had it not been for the great love of my dear savior I would be "lost on my love for what is not of" Him. It is His grace that saved me and restored me and constantly renews me.

Thank You Father for the rain.

Solitude | Pt. 2

SOLITUDE

For my time in solitude today. I took some time to read through the book of Ruth and think about God's provision and blessing. I'll be taking some time to reflect on that in silence out on my back porch this morning. I'm asking God to bring to my mind ways He has provided for me that I may have forgotten or things He has blessed me with that I've lost track of. I'll be taking a little less time to do this today as I think 20 minutes last time began to really wear on my A.D.D. personality. I'll shoot for closer to 10-15 minutes for this exercise.

THE EXPERIENCE

I began my time with a cup of coffee. Brewing it in my one cup T-Disc maker I grabbed my cup and sat out on the porch. I prayed, "God show me what You would. Speak to my heart. Show me what it is I'm not thankful for." It's hard to sit out on my back porch and not be captured by the landscape around you. We overlook a small pond and wooded area that shields us off from looking at the backs of other apartments all the time. Currently in our pond we have residing a group of about 3 ducks and a beaver. Yes a beaver. I've only seen him once or twice but today as I was watching the pond and sitting silently listening for God's voice that little beaver scurried out of the woods hoped in the pond, swam around a bit grabbed a twig from the shore and dove under water. No doubt he dove to the beginnings of his den. I thought about how much God provided for these small creatures. How He created them for His enjoyment and how they frolic about and relax and play simply enjoying the creation of their Creator. I often wonder what animals consider worship? If they can worship? Or if they are themselves created as evidence for humans to admire and enjoy pointing toward the creative nature of the Artist. God today specifically showed me that I don't take much advantage of the creation around me outside that He's provided for me to enjoy. Too often I'm sitting in my living room watching something on TiVo or playing my Wii or reading a book. I should take my book outside, put my Wii Fit into full action as I run and exercise in the beautiful of the God's creation rather than simulated pixelation. I should watch the greatest show of all more than man's feeble attempts. Is there a balance? Sure. Have I found it? No. I really need to work on this more.